Having a friend or loved one as your officiant - the do's and don'ts
- cgajda3
- Jul 8, 2025
- 2 min read
So, you've decided to tie the knot, huh? Congratulations! Now, while you're busy dreaming about the perfect venue, the guest list that includes your long-lost cousin twice removed, and a reception that could rival a royal ball, there's one tiny detail you might be forgetting: the actual ceremony! Yep, that little part where you promise to love each other forever and ever. It’s kind of a big deal. Those vows are like the glue that holds the whole shindig together and sets the stage for your happily ever after. But wait, who’s going to officiate this grand affair? In today’s world, getting ordained is as easy as ordering pizza, which means Uncle Bob or your college roommate could be the one making it official. But is that really the best idea? Having someone close to you officiate can add a personal touch, complete with inside jokes and shared memories that’ll have everyone laughing or crying (or both). Just make sure it fits your vision and that your chosen officiant is up for the task. Here’s a handy guide on the do's and don'ts of letting a loved one take the reins instead of a pro:
Do's
Do have open discussions: Chat with your partner about having a friend or family member officiate. Talk about what it means to you both and what kind of magic you want during the ceremony.
Do assess their comfort level: Make sure your chosen one isn't going to freeze like a deer in headlights. They should be able to engage the crowd and keep things lively.
Do provide guidance: If you pick a loved one, be ready to guide them. Share your vision and any quirky traditions you want thrown in.
Do rehearse: Practice makes perfect! Schedule a rehearsal to ensure your officiant knows their lines and everyone’s on the same page.
Don'ts
Don't overlook the legalities: Double-check that your chosen officiant can legally do the deed in your area. You don’t want any last-minute “oops” moments!
Don't assume they know what to do: Just because they’re your best buddy doesn’t mean they know how to run a ceremony. Give them some tips or templates.
Don't let them create a lengthy ceremony: Keep it short and sweet. No one wants a history lesson. If it’s over 15 minutes, it’s time for a trim.
Don't let it become a source of stress: If your loved one starts sweating bullets, maybe consider a professional. Your day should be about joy, not stress.
Don't forget to express gratitude: If they do the honors, show your appreciation with a heartfelt thank-you. It goes a long way!
In conclusion, letting a friend or family member officiate can add a special touch to your big day, but it’s important to think it through. By following these do's and don'ts, you'll have a ceremony that's both meaningful and smooth, setting the stage for your epic love story.
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