8 Questions to Ask a Wedding Officiant to Find a Truly LGBTQ+ Affirming One

Finding an officiant who says "everyone is welcome" is easy. Finding one who actually knows how to do it well takes a few questions. Here's what I'd ask:

1. Have you officiated weddings for LGBTQ+ couples before? How many, and can I speak with a past couple?

2. How do you write a ceremony for a same-sex or non-binary couple? Look for someone who builds it from your story and doesn't just swap words in a template.

3. What language do you use in the pronouncement, processional, and "giving away" moment? A good officiant offers options and asks what you prefer.

4. How do you handle pronouns and names? Do they ask, and are they comfortable with your family's differences?

5. What will you do if a guest or family member is uncomfortable? An experienced officiant has a plan and handles it calmly.

6. Can I see a sample script? Look for wording that includes you instead of one that works around you.

7. Are you comfortable with our culture, faith, or non-religious approach? Your ceremony should feel like yours.

8. Will you meet with us before the wedding? A good officiant wants to know you both.

   
   

The right officiant will be glad to answer every one of these. If any of them leads to hesitation, that tells you something too.